Wednesday, September 29, 2010

i am being taught

I have very mixed feelings about Coy turning 2 years old in three days. I keep saying "I cant believe it", but in all honesty, I really can believe it! Sadly. Fall is my favorite season most definately, but now that I have's not just for the colors, cool weather, and pumpkin pie. Each time I've been pregnant, the wonderful experience I've experienced took place in the fall. I can vividlyl remember the smells, the cool air with warm sun, the sweet smell and soft tustle of the changing leaves. With those senses, I remember the kicking, rolling, hiccups of the babes inside me...the wondering, who is this little person? I remember feeling the fall sun on my face as I eagerly waited for contractions to start or my water to break, two years ago this week.  I remember distinctly the leaves we walked thru while pushing Coy in the stroller down Mullan Rd. in Clinton while timing contractions the day Bentley was born.

13 months apart?? holy cow!!

thats the reaction i get most when poeple ask how far apart the boys are in age. nthe comes, "how do you do it?" With patience, lots of patience! Being a frequently-needed-mommy to two little ones definately  requires pateince. It's calmed me down too. When Coy was a baby, I easily got upset when he was crying a lot, or when he wasn't taking his scheduled nap. I would groan and sigh heavily when I had to take him in and out of his carseat to run errands in town in the snow or rain. When we found out we were pregnant with Bentley when Coy was just 4 months old, I was excited, but super overwhelmed! The one baby that I had, had me strung out and I couldn't imagine another one!!

but i've learned balance. i've learned to multi-task. to take a deep breath. that it's ok that he's crying, it won't hurt him for a few minutes while I clean coy up from lunch. and right now?...i'm swaying, bouncin, eating, typing (and thinking) all at the same time. (wow, thinking?? i know) Bentley sits cozy in the moby wrap (in a new position i've created so that I can move my chin without hitting the head of my very long 10 month old) almost asleep because he's not falling asleep on his own today. i'm eating lunch at 2 oclock because we had story hour, coy took  40 minutes to eat a single bowl of spaghetti, then and i had to read 5 books to coy so he too, would fall asleep. that's my day. my normal day, that i love to greeat every morning now. (as long as it's not before 8 am...haha)

You bet I still get upset and frusterated, but when I remember to keep peacefull and take the day as it comes, I find I'm still happy at the close of day. When Coy was small, there were many days where I wished the day would hurry up and end because I was so tired, and now I'm kind of sad to think of how many day's I've lost saying that. I've stopped growling (most of the time) when I still get up with Bentley at least once a night. Time passes so fast. Too fast for me to be so uptight. So I embrace the challenges of each day, and delight in my babies, while they are still babies.

Of course, somedays i chew up and gag on my philosophy...but ya know....

LOVE TODAY!!...this is what my babies have taught me.


Ashley said...

Lis, I you have me in tears! I like you think I wished life away to fast some days....until one day I woke up and realized how fast my babies we're growing! Today has just been one of those days here too, Spencer is fussy from not having his nuk, a cold, shots...yet I don't care....I just snuggle him as much as I can for I know these days will be gone before I know it. I want to cry today b/c some how he's 18 months old already!!

Thank you so much for taking the time to "think and type" today. I needed your blog! :) We miss and love you all!!!

Lindsay said...

sasa, that's so sweet!! you've put familiar feelings into words. i forget SO much to just enjoy everything about the kids being small... but days like today, when cole needs extra snuggles, it's easier to just enjoy every moment.
love you, hun!!

Unknown said...

You are such a strong mother:]
I don't think I could do it, wait, I know I couldn't do it!! [not yet anyways :D]
Loved the thoughts you shared, and I hope one day that I can remember to always cherish those moments good and bad now and when i get to that point in life :] xoxo miss you liss

Mariah said...

You, my dear, are a wonderful mother. Thanks for sharing a glimpse into your days.. :)

Brendon and Katie said...

Love this post...and love you... and your peanuts. isnt it amazing what these little ones can teach us? :) What was the new position with the moby wrap? im having a problem now with my Looong girl.. her head is always up in my chin, so i cant turn it my head.