Logan's been gone most of the week for business, and we've fared pretty well on our own...but today I learned a lesson I'll never let go of..
It's finally the end of the day, and I go to get the kids jammies on. Short story...Coy's poopy again. Not a big deal normally, but he'd wet, and messed 2 pairs of training pants, and 2 diapers today...and I've already thrown the diapers on the wash. I got upset. I change him, and while I'm taking care of the dirty insert, the boys start fighting over the blankets. Over the pillows. Over Snap, the stuffed alligator. And after a whole day of fighting, I am tired of it and I yell at them to just get in bed. Lights out. No story. End of day. I say a quick 'goodnight' and shut the door. Both kids keep screaming. I sit down on the couch and take a minute to breathe...to calm my frazzled nerves, and then open the door back up again. Bentley's up at the end of his crib, waiting for me to pick him up, like he knew I'd be back in...we both needed the comfort.
Soon its me, Coy & Bentley laying sliently on Coy's twin bed with cars & trucks on the sheets. Coy took the pig covered pillow, and I get the Thomas the tank engine pillow. Bentley's cradled in my arms. We lay there...no sound from anyone. I break the silence by telling Coy that I'm very sorry that I lost my patience with him, and my heart hurt. He ignored me, balled up under his John Deere blanket. That's ok, I know how he feels. We lay for a few more minutes. He starts shuffeling,... un-burying himself from his den of blankets and turns overn to face me. He puts him arm across my chest, then moves it up to my cheek, making me aware of my need to cut his fingernails. His oh-so-soft hands and gentle strokes soften my heart, and then whispering, he says "You're my best friend".
Tears stream down my face, wondering what I ever did to deserve a love like this...the unconditional love of a little child. So I lay, wet-faced, between two little boys, cry a prayer of thankfulness & say good night again. This time with a kiss.
And, I am counting...4 hours till Daddy pulls in!